RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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