these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
