My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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