I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
