this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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