I wish I could teleport
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize