what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
