She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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