Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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