I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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