Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
