i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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