He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
