whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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