Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
