singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
