they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm like, not good at living.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
