Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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