Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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