fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
worst night to have a conscience
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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