I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
