Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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