im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
