Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
