is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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