I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
