why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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