..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
