In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize
