The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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