Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize