Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
