Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize