barbara walters just said penis...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
