your parents love me but you hate me
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize