taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Is Oprah even human
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
