you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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