is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
