i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
