dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
