oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
