38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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