She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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