Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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