I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
