i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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