He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
