I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
