yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
