the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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