I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
