i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
