a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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