Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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