Soap is not a condiment
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
