shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
