if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
