i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
