I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
