I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
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he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
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You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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