Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize